Mutazione: You Are the Mirror In Front of Me

Mutazione was given to me a few months back to review for Uppercut, but with the hectic mess that is moving across the country from Boston, MA to Los Angeles, CA, it was hard to sit down and find the time to run through it and focus. I dropped it to get myself together, along with all the other projects I had planned. 

However, Mutazione is a game that would’ve helped loads during my time in my metaphorical rut, and I’m yelling at myself for not playing it sooner. Taking a quick look, I thought it was another cute indie with cute named creatures to make me laugh and quickly forget about, as it was hard to be impressed or fall in love with anyone’s work while my passion for video games kind of had its foot out the door this year. I take it all back.

Is Mutazione a sad game? No, I’m just dramatic. It’s pretty feel-good, it hugs you, it’ll tuck you in when you’re sleepy.I recommend it if you want to play something easy on the brain,  if you want to see critters named after sausages from around the world, and possibly have discourse with me.

This game is slow; it’s carefully structured with  care, and impending realization that maybe the wild things that happened to you were in no way your fault. The exact opposite of how my life felt a few months back. Seeing Kai leave her mother alone with her younger sibling, regardless of how close they were, to go and tend to her dying grandfather, is the first scene you see in Mutazione, and that disturbed me through playing it. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I was faced with my own issues with my late father right from the beginning of the game, as well as my constant worry if this giant move I made was the right choice for me. I cried, but this is me throwing my personal problems into a game that I know did not intend for me to feel this way. Honest-to-god though, it felt like an attack and I even covered my laptop webcam for the sake of my paranoia.

I kept seeing my reflection while playing . Being alone somewhere new, it’s so easy to be cold and  stunted. This game forced me to stop asking so many questions, and see that maybe having the unknown flourish in front of you can be a one-of-kind experience. The slow process that is making friends, then opening up to each other and realizing that even though you two  seem worlds apart, there are impossible things you thought no would ever understand that you both can relate to, and it makes the friendship that much stronger. 

The acceptance of your parent’s death, and letting go of thoughts of what you wish you or your late dad could’ve done differently. Learning to appreciate what you did have regardless of what the situation might’ve been. I reflected back on memories that I kept locked away for so long because I hated the thought of having to dive back into thinking about my father. Surprisingly enough, the slow and steady approach in Mutazione helped me remain calm and collected when memories of my dad showing me the reptiles he collected, the pink onions he really enjoyed in his potato salad we had in the state park, and missing the way he said “Sama” when calling me over started to reemerge.

Even though the game was calling me out in every possible direction, I don’t think I have played something so comforting since getting my hands on Slime Rancher. The choice-based player, similar to Oxenfree, had amazing little details, from the texture in the art, the smallest sound designs, to the layers that this island had to offer. Mutazione honestly felt like a hearty soup after walking home from school on a freezing Rhode Island winter day, and constantly feeling that familiar relief brought me to tears from time to time.

I saw myself, in each scene, in the dialogue, and in how Kai was learning. Do I want to blame the Lexapro I’m on for making me feel so off and weird about everything? Yeah. Do I want to think 

Die Gute Fabrik is working from the inside and personally telling me to get my shit together? Yeah, maybe.

Part of me can’t help but think this was just the right person playing the right game at the right time. I know people who have played games that they connected to in ways I couldn’t wrap my head around, so I never really related. But Mutazione is my game, and maybe if you give it a try, it’ll be your game too.