5 Goddesses Who Should’ve Gotten A Game Instead of Kratos

I’ve said pretty much all I care to about God of War (2018), and the whole franchise, being perfectly honest. But something I never get tired of is gassing up badass fictional women, so let’s go through some legendary ladies who definitely deserved a game of their own more than Sad Dad Kratos. 

Hel

Hel is the Norse goddess of death, and ruler of Niflheim (you know, the underworld Kratos visited and yet somehow never encountered the HBIC). Aside from being one of Loki’s children, and having her brothers be Fenrir the wolf and Jörmungandr the serpent, Hel would make a dope video game protagonist because we don’t know nearly as much about her. She mostly appears in passing, which leaves plenty of room for interpretation and play when it comes to her personality, lore, and motivations. On top of that, Niflheim has some metal locations that would make killer game areas or levels. Let us visit the Shore of Corpses and hang out with Nidhogg the blood sucking dragon, cowards.

Artemis

Remember when the games industry went through that “every woman should have a bow” phase? I do, and I’ve been wondering where the fuck our Artemis game has been ever since. She’s the literal goddess of the hunt, a perfect candidate for another badass white lady with a bow game. Artemis is also deeply conflicted in her domains, offering both protection and death, and healing and disease. She’s notoriously petty and has a pretty brutal vengeful streak. With all those delicious flaws at their fingertips, surely some writers could create a great story about a complicated person with immense power learning and growing. Oh that’s right, only men get to be messy, destructive assholes. 

Eris & Hera

So this is maybe cheating a bit since it’s a twofer, but hear me out. Eris is the goddess of chaos, and Hera is probably one of the most vindictive figures in mythology. There’s a story where Polytekhnos and Aedon said they were more in love than Hera and Zeus. While that was probably true, it pissed Hera off to no end and she sent Eris to terrorize them. Now wouldn’t that make a fun game? Being Hera’s agent of chaos seems pretty dope to me. And hey, maybe along the way we learn something about the power of female friendships or that instead of abiding shitty men being shitty, we can just kick them to the curb.

Aphrodite

Ultimate. Dating. Sim. For real though, she’s the goddess of love, desire and pleasure; this shit writes itself. Also she tit punched Artemis in the Illiad so just all around an interesting lady worthy of her own franchise. 

Medusa

Okay, I’m cheating again, because Medusa isn’t really a goddess, so much as a mythical figure, but she owns and should definitely have her story told in a bigger, more modern way. I know you all are probably doubting my motives, since I am a Professional Monster Fucker™ and who is Medusa if not the monster fucker gold standard? But my intentions are pure. Medusa is a really interesting figure in mythology and literature, and has become a bit of a feminist icon thanks to Cixous, and a modern re-examining of her origins. Content warning for sexual assault. As told by Ovid, Medusa was once a ravishingly beautiful woman who Athena cursed to be unbearable to look at after she was raped by Posidon in Athena’s temple. I’ve seen interpretations of this story that view this curse as an act of victim blaming, or a misguided attempt to keep Medusa safe from being harmed again. Do I trust current AAA devs to handle this story with any amount of grace or care? Of course not, especially after this week. But a them can dream.