The Overwatch Ladies I’d Like to Bang

Alright friends, we’re diving down a sexy Overwatch rabbit hole. Hope you’re ready to know more than you probably wanted about my taste in fictional women. Without further ado, here are the 10 Overwatch characters I, personally, find most fuckable.

10. Zarya

Usually, I lean towards femme-ier women, but I can’t disagree on this one: Zarya is hot. She let her Olympic dreams go to help people in need. Who doesn’t love a girl who makes sacrifices to help. Plus she seems like she’d be pretty caring and gentle. Main turn-off though, not a fan of her hatred of all Omnics. Zenyatta is a nice robo-man!

9. Tracer

She’s a cute little queer lady, but ultimately not super my type which is why she’s near the end of this list. I generally prefer dark hair and dark eyes, and when it comes to fictional ladies, I tend to gravitate towards those who would most likely break my psyche or happily murder me (spoilers for what’s to come).

8. Mercy

Mercy is kind of a repeat of my deal with Tracer, but she’s a bit higher up because she seems like more of an adult. She’s got a professional career, and is retired from a global government enforcement agency. I’m not generally one for dating younger, and Tracer kind of gives off perpetual kid vibes. Plus, Mercy’s got a bit more edge with her penchant for turning people into cyborgs.

7. Ana

SPEAKING of dating older, Ana is a silver fox and I am very about it. 10/10 MILF status. I tend to swing older and hoo boy, I’d be down to swing any way with Ana. The main thing holding her back? Cares too much. I feel she’d want to fix things in my life, and at this point, I just gotta be a wreck.

6. Symmetra

Symmetra is BEAUTIFUL. Plus she’s brilliant, and seems like the type who would ignore you as soon as she had something she needed to do for work. I’m so down to be ignored by a beautiful woman for science. But she could never be higher on this list because I’ll never not be bitter about those fucking turrets.

5. Mei

Okay, so we’ve talked about how I love emotionally unavailable women who might be capable of murder. But I have another type, and you best believe it’s on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Sweet, smart, nerdy girls have a special place in my heart. Mei’s interactions with her little robot make me melt (get it?), and that gets me going in a different way from the other ladies I love. Ultimately though, she’s brilliant and needs to focus on saving the world from human ruination.

4. Moira

Would she kill me? Uncertain. Would she perform genetic experiments on me? Probably. I am down? You bet. As I’m writing this list, I’m realizing I may have a thing for sexy scientists…Anyway, the only real downside here is those nails. Love them aesthetically, fear them sexually.

3. Pharah

She’s a dreamboat. Dark hair and eyes, some nice muscles but still femme. I’m pretty sure she’d bring coffee the next morning, which is always a bonus. My only issue? She seems too nice. This far into the list, only mean girls should apply.

2. Sombra

Such a babe. Sombra is such a fatal package for me. She’s hot, brilliant, and sarcastic. One of my kinks is the ability to make Reaper facepalm, and if the fan comics are anything to go on, she fits the bill nicely. I’m pretty in love. But once again, those nails….

1.Widowmaker

My. Fucking. Queen. Everything about her is perfect. She’s an elite killer (lore-wise anyway. Let’s not take in-game kills into account), she canonically deploys poison, she has no feelings, and is almost dead. Add in her commitment to a theme (hello, big ass spider tattoo) and that cat suit, and you’ve got the recipe for the woman of my dreams.